‘He wanted to light a match while I was juggling and he was hula hooping,’ Stewart says of Pattinson’s alternate ideas for the MTV Movie Awards.
By Terri Schwartz, with reporting by Josh Horowitz

Kristen Stewart

Photo: MTV News

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President Obama, Sandra Bullock, Ben Stiller, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Swift are also named.
By Gil Kaufman

Lady Gaga

Photo: Gabriel Bouys/ Getty Images

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We break down the pros and cons of Sofia Coppola, Gus Van Sant and Bill Condon.
By Eric Ditzian

Possible “Breaking Dawn” directors Bill Condon, Sophia Coppola and Gus Van Sant

Photo: Amanda Edwards/Jason LaVeris/Jamie McCarthy/Getty

Though an official announcement that “Breaking Dawn” is coming to the big screen — and Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner along with it — has not yet been made, word has already broken that three Oscar-nominated directors have been approached for the job: Sofia Coppola (”Lost in Translation”), Gus Van Sant (”Milk”) and Bill Condon (”Dreamgirls”).

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Dear Ted:
With regard to your piece about Mischa smoking weed and whether or not we should care, generally I would say, no. We shouldn’t care what this perpetually mediocre actress is doing to herself. That’s for her friends and family to worry about. However, the fact that she’s driving while smoking weed is another issue. When she gets behind the wheel of a car in a possibly impaired state then yes, we should care. Her careless behavior could cost dearly to other people.
—Emily
Dear Responsible Driver:
I agree 100 percent. What someone does behind closed doors is her own business, but not when she’s out running over curbs (and whatever) before taking another puff. Can’t wait to see how Mischa’s rep spins this mess—medical marijuana for her “wisdom tooth pains,” anyone?
Dear Ted:
Where are the Brangelina twins? Why are they never out with the couple and why are there never any pictures of them? What’s the deal?
—F.F.
Dear Kindergarten Cop:
Brad and Ange are trying to keep the little ones out of the spotlight as long as possible. Or at least until they’re a little older and more paparazzi-savvy like fierce little Zahara.
Dear Ted:
“Dating is such a hard term to define nowadays. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart certainly have set new relationship rules, and tons of Hollywood babes are blurring the line between full-on couple and occasional fun buddies.” What are you trying to tell us? They are just f–k buddies? So this means you lied to us because you always said, “They are the real deal.” Can you please explain it to us?
—Ted

Dear Friends With Benefits:
Don’t bust out your I Hate Ted T-shirts yet. The f–k buddies comment, as you so elegantly put it, was more in reference to Jen and Ger than K.Stew and R.Pattz. All I meant was that Robsten are a very modern couple, so big-time movie careers play a factor in figuring out the relationship. It’s an unavoidable fact.
Dear Ted:
Regarding all the Eclispe “leaked” photos, how is this possible? Are they really leaked, doesn’t the studio know who is responsible for leaking them? What actions are taken? Or are the studio suits just playing with us…
—Lisa
Dear Plug the Hole:
Leaked in Hollywood has a very loose definition. Don’t expect Summit to call up their lawyers anytime soon; they’re too busy celebrating the positive feedback from the photos after the storm of crap they got from New Moon.
Dear Ted:
Are people really so stupid they just no longer get a joke if there’s not a laugh track or someone informing them it’s a joke? They seriously don’t get that a young man like Robert Pattinson might be joking when he says he’s “allergic to vaginas”? People are idiots. Just idiots.
—B
Dear Sense of Humor:
And the one laughing the loudest after this whole mess is Rob himself, that’s my favorite part.
Dear Ted:
I noticed you’ve decided to strongly defend Danneel Harris, and I think it’s great, but I also think you don’t realize how much the fans who entertain the idea of some sexual link between the J’s are daily bashed and mocked. The only place to express their ideas and fantasies used to be on your boards anonymously (anyone daring to post something about Jackles‘ love with their real identity received hate messages after). I’m not giving excuses for the D.H.’s hate, far from it, but some people who feel constantly ashamed because of their belief of a happy ending or hot sex between the boys might express their frustration toward the person who represents those who are harassing them.
—T
Dear Jackles Exposed:
I said Danneel was a smart (and sexy) gal, but I didn’t say you Jackle fans had to stop blabbing about that potential brotherly love. Who could help but to picture those studs shacking up? I couldn’t, that’s for sure.
Dear Ted:
Are Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson, Secretia and Chester?
—Julie
Dear Swinging Scarlett:
Nope, but you’re definitely in the right sexiness ballpark. And Ryan’s athleticism is dead-on.
Dear Ted:
Are you really serious with this “Everybody Hates Danneel” crap? There are far more people out there who love (or at the very least pretend to love) her than there are those who give her grief. You do know that the more you tell someone not to do something the more they want to do it, right? And maybe there are reasons why people don’t like her besides who she’s engaged to. I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish here.
—Ray
Dear Harried Harris Hater:
Maybe the haters are just far more vocal than the fans then. But I’m intrigued: What are your reasons for hating D.H. besides Jensen? Teach me.
Dear Ted:
Why don’t you give us a Blind Vice about yourself! If you have already, give us a hint to your pseudoname. Maybe something that explains why you married and then divorced within weeks. Huh?
—Keith
Dear Nosy:
I’ve already made my B.V. debut.
Dear Ted:
This Twilight thing is becoming a bit much. I check your blolum everyday and really look forward to your B.B., but I cannot stand to read hundreds of pointless Robsten comments. The other day for example, there were no Robsten questions in the B.B., yet they posted anyway. They take over everyday, and I can no longer stand it. Can you make a Twilight section to let these Twi-hards go crazy and leave the B.B. boards to those of us who are interested in B.V.s and other celebrity gossip? I know that lots of people don’t even bother posting because they know the board will become overtaken with Robsten crazies. Can you please try and fix this?
—A
Dear Removing Robsten:
Robsten fans love bitchin’ about the couple, so good luck keeping their traps shut. The boards are yours. If enough people are totally sick of Twilight, sound off and maybe the talk of K.Stew and R.Pattz will die down…but that will happen at about the same time Taylor Swift wins an Oscar.
Dear Ted:
Give us some more gossip on The Vampire Diaries boys. That Paul Wesley is yummo!
—C
Dear Likes It Bloody:
How can I put this? You know that old casting-couch clich

Dear Ted:
What’s the deal with Perez Hilton and his attitude toward Kristen Stewart? I get that his thing is to be “controversial” and speak his mind, but he seems to be unnecessarily nasty toward Kristen. By all accounts, she seems to be a down-to-earth and talented young actress. So what’s the deal? Is it just that she doesn’t kiss his butt like some celebs do, or does he actually have a reason to be crappy towards her? I always find his comments about her to be petty and petulant.
—Jack
Dear Perez Pooper:
For each hater, K.Stew has plenty of fans, so I’m sure she isn’t crying herself to sleep at night thinking about Perez’s jealous bitching…that is, if she knows who he is.
Dear Ted:
I woke up this morning from a terrible nightmare in which Angelina Jolie was a mastermind bent on destroying me. I think that I ought to turn it into a movie script. I think she’d be the perfect villain. Thoughts?
—X

During Bella’s three-way date, Weitz sneaks in over-the-top fake movie posters and titles.
By Larry Carroll

Chris Weitz

Photo: MTV News

BEVERLY HILLS, California — If you believe what you read, “New Moon” director Chris Weitz may be on the verge of retiring from film. Lucky for his fans, then, that the “Twilight” sequel has several Weitz mini-movies buried within.

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